THE FATHER OF TOADS , by Russell Edson

poetry by avaughan
24 September 2001
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A man had just delivered a toad from his wife's armpit. He held it by its legs and spanked it.

 
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Do you love it? said his wife.

 
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It's our child, isn't it?

 
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Does that mean you can't love it? she said.

 
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It's hard enough to love a toad, but when it turns out to be your own son then revulsion is without any tender inhibition, he said.

 
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Do you mean you would not like to call it George Jr.? she said.

 
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But we've already called the other toad that, he said.

 
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Well, perhaps we could call the other one George Sr., she said.

 
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But I am George Sr., he said.

 
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Well, perhaps if you hid in the attic, so that no one needed to call you anything, there would be no difficulty in calling both of them George, she said.

 
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Yes, if no one talks to me, then what need have I for a name? he said.

 
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No, no one will talk to you for the rest of your life. And when we bury you we shall put Father of Toads on your tombstone.

 
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j_moody: cracked.

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