The Marriage of Persephone
poetry by
catherine
12 November 2002
8 comments
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*The Marriage of Persephone*
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I. hades
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Pale little oval of a baby goddess-girl
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I've been watching ripe globes of fruit
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swing on that body of yours.
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Girl, you're unsteady, heaped-up spheres
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and though I can't see through it
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I know that under your poured-cream dress
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the fruit is rounded, red, and sweet.
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j_moody:
all this imagery is very erotic, and delicious to read aloud |
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II. night swimming
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j_moody:
this could also have other senses if it were not just a title but were worked into the verse. that is also why i like it so much as a section title. "night swimming" could just be skinnydipping, or it could be broadened to include the fact that they are swimming in the realm of the dead, in darkness, in eternal night, etc. you could squeeze a few other connotations from that, i'm sure, if you wish to. |
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Persephone, on the brink of the stream,
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removes her dressing gown. She tongues
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the water, rubs it into the torn places
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of her skin, and her toes
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take the sand like roots.
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j_moody:
good alliteration |
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her lover runs his hand down her,
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unzips her back. he wonders
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why there's blood
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instead of juice on the mossy sheets
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beside the Styx. He thinks, Perfect breasts.
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Like pears. And I'm telling you,
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you take one bite out of this woman
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and you're stuck in her
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forever.
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j_moody:
i gather the metaphor is that persephone herself is a pomegranate, and the act of being eaten is the act of lovemaking. i think it works, and is effective, but i wonder if people less familiar with the myth might need a few hints to take the extra leap that you are making here-- not just the myth, but a few more nuances added in. just a consideration. |
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III. summer on the farm
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On the broad flat plains of Kansas
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j_moody:
I love how you locate this in Kansas. It draws up a lot of childhood (summers in Kansas) and Wizard of Oz, and Willa Cather-esque imagery for me. I think it works to locate the mythology within our modern sense of place and our geographic stereotyping. I wonder where Hades would be located? Is it still a subterranean, mythical world, or do we have more mundane approximations of Hades available to us? just wondering. |
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Demeter sweats, shuffles, bent double
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with her hoe. In her wake are live things
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boiling from the ground. A riot
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of vegetables, cucumbers
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tomatoes and sweetpeas all jostling
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towards the sun. The vines writhe,
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seething across the earth. The goddess
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j_moody:
i love this imagery of growth-- it is very active in its wording, sounds good read aloud, and the auditory movement in the sounds matches the sense of movement described by the meaning of the words. i just love this kind of imagery period. you do it well. |
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with the hoe squints backwards. Soon
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she will take her knife, loosen the soil,
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free them from the hollowed ground.
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It will feel like giving birth.
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j_moody:
good detail. the squinting is also excellent. |
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Persephone, sullen, curled in a window seat,
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stares glaze-eyed at the burgeoning garden
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and craves pomegranates in the middle of July.
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j_moody:
i love how you locate the mythical meanings within our modern emotions-- you make the myth more accessible to us, in its more personalized dimensions. I wonder if the last few lines really do an adequate job of wrapping up the many meanings that you have developed up to that point? the sense of boredom and longing ring true, and I would agree that that's a good avenue to explore, but it seems to lack some kind of kick or some kind of closure. I can't advise you what exactly to do, but some tweaking may be in order. I would welcome a whole separate stanza on Persephone and her boredom, but that may not be the way you want to go. Overall, a joy to read! |
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Content © copyright 2002 by Catherine Osborne. All rights reserved.