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12:31 am
 

Exhausted, Chuck flops into bed, turns off light. Cat, detecting opportunity, jumps onto his stomach, demands ear scratchies.
 

12:32 am
 

Phone rings. In fit of panic, cat leaps off belly. Quiet swearing is heard as Chuck fumbles for phone.
 

Chuck: Mmm... hello?
 

The sound quality is bad and is periodically broken by cell phone static. Bar noises can be heard in the background. The woman on the other end of the line has a voice resembling the screech of a howler monkey. She speaks with the precision of a tipsy alcoholic intently seeking drunken nirvana.
 

Woman: Is NiMickWah there?
 

Chuck: Who?
 

Woman: MEEEECK!
 

Chuck: Huh?
 

Woman: Nick! Is Nick there?
 

Chuck: Oh, NICK. Nick. No, Nick isn't here.
 

Woman: Well, where is he?
 

Chuck: (Mutters) What's wrong with these people... (Full volume) He moved...
 

Woman: What?
 

Chuck: Nick moved out a few months ago... several months ago, he...
 

Woman: What? Pauses, sips Whenshegettinghome?
 

Chuck: He moved out. He's not here. He's not been here for...
 

Woman, cutting him off: Lemme speak with him.
 

Chuck, painfully enunciating: Nick... is... not... here.
 

Woman: I heard Nick is hot. Is he hot?
 

Narrator: Nick is not hot.
 

Woman: Tell him to get over here! He's HOT. We're partying.
 

Chuck, trying again: Nick... moved... out.
 

Woman: So?
 

Chuck: Nick is not here. His friends aren't here. Nobody is here. We're here. We're not Nick. We don't know Nick.
 

Woman: Tell him to get a few drinks! He's hot, right?
 

Chuck, trying one last time: Uhm, sure. Bye!
 

Woman: Oh, he's not there! Pouts over phone He's hot. Hey, you sound hot. Are you hot?
 

Chuck: Uhhh...
 

Woman: I bet you're hot! Why don't you come out for a drink? We're at a baaaar!
 

Chuck: Uhhh... no. Pause. For good measure, adds: Nick isn't here.
 

Chuck hangs up
 

12:36 am
 

Phone rings
 

Chuck: Yeah.
 

Woman: Is Nick there?
 

Chuck: Goddammit... he... he moved out... you...
 

Woman: Over-enunciating Oh, I must have gotten the wrong number. I'm sorry, I do apologize!
 

She hangs up