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david_a:
I think this piece works better with the music. Somehow that mad carnie dissonance brings out the more disturbing side of the spoken words. This has the feel of a slightly deranged wandering theatre troupe. Yearning and cynicism and tenderness and frustration all jostle for attention, whereas with the text only version, these emotions are more blurry. This is great. |
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cgroom:
I agree that this works very well with music. It would be interesting to see different variations. Right now, the voice is reciting poetry; what would it be like with a Tom Waits gritty delivery, or as more of a dirge? Above all else, I'd like to see you sound more loving about the different girls you describe, savoring them.
I like the music and the swelling cacophany, but it is very menacing. Perhaps a more deliberate "pretty" start which falls apart would be more fitting...? In case, I'm impressed. |
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laura:
Also impressed. The turns ("but it's really cool, too") are great in audio. This piece really keeps my mind hopping. |
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eppy:
Thanks, guys! Glad you liked it. I have another backing part in mind which I may record, but unfortunately I think my recording window has closed, as I'm back into the grind of 6-days-a-week band practices. Which is fun, but y'know. Anyway.
Incidentally: my music subs to Skein generally only get responses when I've posted the lyrics first, which is fine, but I just thought I'd ask if people are interested in seeing more stuff, with or without the lyrics, as I do generally record 4-8 songs a month. Wanna hear some synth-pop, or singer-songwriter stuff, or...uh...instrumental ambient stuff? Just lemme know. |
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laura:
Decidedly. |
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j_moody:
I like your audio stuff, Mike, but I rarely have access to a computer with both an internet line and audio, and I forget to carry disks around with me, so it can be a long, long time before I get to listen and thus to comment. I find this whole piece very unnerving-- both the words alone and with the audio. Its much more powerfully unnerving with the audio. Because for me there were just some mundane parts I could relate to like the lines about women "getting hit on" one too many times, or about walking around "on sunny days" y'know, I found it odd that those very lines were deemphasized in the verbal delivery. I guess those are the more normal, throw away thoughts... I don't know. I think you definitely have hit on a nerve to tinker with and powerful things could come of it. As a meditation its hard to relate to. Somehow it reminds me of Arthur Bradford in his dogwalker stories, but with a "sleazier" edge to it. An exaltation of mundanity. Will this piece stand alone or will it have company? |
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