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It was opening night

just after final curtain.

I was feeling secure, comfortable, accepted, good.

In the greenroom

halfway out of my sage green Victorian dress

the stage manager knocked

telling me to hurry up,

I had a visitor.

I sighed because

My mom must have found the greenroom

and I wanted to see her later

not right then.

But it was you.

I ran to you

locked my arms around you

in an expression of infinite delight.

But it was not for the flowers or applause or success

this hug was for your friendship and love and support.

You were there when nobody else was

You were just as excited for me as I was

And being there is truest friendship.

jlewis: I don't know whether you're interested in workshopping, Lizzy, so many apologies if you weren't looking for suggestions and improvements. :) Disclaimer aside: just as a silly exercise, I tried reading the poem in the past tense instead of the present tense, and I actually liked the flow of it a bit better. For me, it helped the poem escape from the time ambiguity -- when is it exactly that the lines of the poem are being spoken from? Just a thought -- try reading it in the past tense and see what you think of the change. lizzy: Past tense now... is that better? I like it more this way now. A lot less cumbersome. j_moody: i think it reads well (i only read past tense) and it elegantly captures a universal kind of moment where excitment or fulfillment or happiness is shared with someone else, free of any misunderstanding or obligation or other burdens. its a beautiful kind of moment and i know it brought some similar moments to mind for me. i like it. Add comment