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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lana's diary, one week before
 

I think everybody else is as sick of me as I am. If I were somebody else, I'd hate me too. I'd want to be as far away from me as possible.
 

~~~~~~~~~~~ Day 1
 

This isn't my bed. Or my bedroom. But it could be mine, if I were popular.
 

"Baby!" Oh no. I know that voice. "Get up or you'll be late to school!" There is only one mother I know whose voice is so whiny. I look down and see breasts that I didn't have last night. I'm in Juliette Gardner's body.
 

Ever since the sixth grade, I muse, Juliette has treated me badly. I'm sick of it. It looks like my day to do the treating. I plan to find Juliette-in-my-body, be sure it's Juliette, and treat her the same way she treats me. No undue attention from others, and the chance to teach her a lesson. Not bad.
 

I arrive at school and try to find her. She's in her usual seat in the sun, except alone. I ask her why she doesn't join us, and she tells me she wants her body back. I smile sweetly, say that she is free to join us if she wants, and try to look like I'm having fun with her cloud of friends.
 

I call her that night and tell her that I will continue to play out her life until she gets the point and that she won't have her own body back until she treats everybody well. Let her believe I'm behind this.
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Day 2
 

I'm still in Juliette's body. It'd funny, though, that I've wanted to be her ever since I met her, and now that I can afford to wear the right brand of clothes and have a cloud of friends around me at all times, I miss being poor, teased, ignored Lana MacMillan. But I'd better get used to it; I don't know how long this will last.
 

At lunch, Juliette-in-my-body comes up to us and sits down. Mrs. Smythe probably made her come up here. She did that all the time when I was in my own body. She tells the same joke that she told in her own body last week-- the one about the starving travellers, the ugly woman, and the ears of corn. And this time, nobody laughs. They all stare at her as if she had just threatened to kill somebody. This tense, still silence goes on for several long seconds, just as it did when I told my joke about the linguistics professor. Then we go back to talking to each other about tonight's Limp Bizkit concert.
 

I'm at the concert. And I'm enjoying the machine-made fog and deafening music and sweaty screaming crowd. I'm even enjoying the obscene lyrics. Must be something about being in a normal body. Or maybe I'm just becoming Juliette.
 

Day 7
 

It's been a week since our switch. I'm already displacing some of my life's memories with information about hers. I react if somebody says "Juliette." I say my birthday is October 18, but it's really sometime in March. I don't remember the exact date anymore. I know that "I" am allergic to cucumbers, among other things. I think I'm losing Lana in favor of Juliette.
 

Day 30
 

That nerd Lana is annoying me again. She's trying some joke out on us. I don't even want to get it. Something about a linguistics professor, whatever linguistics is.....
 

Oh God. I'm actually becoming her. I've been like this for weeks now... I'm scared. What if I'm never Lana again? What if I never was? That must be it. I was just hallucinating or dreaming or something. But why does it feel so wrong?
 

I go home to sleep it off.
 

Day 365
 

Lana's bugging me about some one-year anniversary. Something about changing bodies! Really. She must be on drugs or something. I mean, switching bodies? That's impossible. I hate that ####ing b####. I'll have to kick her @$$ sometime.
 

Epilogue--- Ten Years Later ~~~~~~~~~~ This isn't my bed. Or my bedroom. Or my house. But it seems vaguely familiar. It reminds me of a girl I went to middle school with...