Quad Quoteboards, Fall '98

prose by sprice
01 September 2001
28 comments

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Don't sing Elvis into the Tickle-stick. --Scott
 

 
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Don't sing Elvis into the Fencing sword; Jesus Christ. --Scott
 

 
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Chris, don't sing Elvis into my nuts. --Scott
 

 
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Chip, don't sing Elvis into the yellow phallic thing. --Josh
 

 
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Don't sing Elvis into the digeridoo. --Chris F.
 

 
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Wow, is this real crystal? (crash!) --Josh
 

 
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That’s a whole lotta not-good things wrapped up into one not-good basket. --Josh, after final thirteen hours of Spike (derf)
 

 
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I imagine there’s something baseball-sized back there, yelling about film theory --Josh
 

 
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Was that Methuselah, or Craig Williamson? --Josh
 

 
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In the Iliad and the Ecstasy... --Josh, Classics Boffo
 

 
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Get that face off your face. --Josh
 

 
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Everytime... I say... (pound) no one around me (pound) has gotten the least bit of (pound) strangeness from the fact that I’m (pound) crushing all the Jesus-fish in the Lucky Charms. --Josh
 

 
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(action of sipping maté) It’s all okay. --Josh
 

 

sprice: hot-damn! skein did an accent! Is anyone *not* seeing the accent?

lizzy: I see it.

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A well-placed ass improves any conversation. --Josh
 

 

samira: Are jokes about Chip's ass (damn fine ass that it is) really this old?

cutler: I don't think this refers to my ass. Not that I'm aware of anyway. You guys wouldn't talk about my ass behind my back (even thought that's where it is located), would you??? Guys?????

alecia: us? never.

samira: Unfortunately, I checked with Josh and this comment has nothing to do with Chris's ass. Not that Josh remembers what it IS about.

sprice: I believe that this was, in fact, utterly unrelated to Chip's ass. However, Chip's ass came up immediately after that. I believe with "Like Chip's, for instance."

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I actually wasn’t there. I was refracted by a big prism somewhere in Nebraska. That’s why I was upside-down. --Josh
 

 
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You don’t say... my second moment seems to have drifted away... --Josh, leaning
 

 
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To know Chip’s mom is to do Chip’s mom... --Josh
 

 
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You guys are the gods of wine and revelry... fill my room. --Chip Revelry, we can do... it’s a small room. --Josh
 

 
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Josh: I just retain bullshit. ...Wayne: You retain bullshit like a compost heap.
 

 
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Josh: Well, Liz drinks with the devil. It makes sense that Heather would play bridge with God. You can hardly drink with God. ...Samira: More to the point, you can’t drink with Heather.
 

 
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Yes, but I assume that you abuse your underwear, Wayne. --Josh
 

 
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Josh: I don’t know "Passion." ...Alastair: You shall know passion NOW!
 

 
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Josh: Jesus, you’re Martha Stewart on acid. --to Samira
 

 

samira: Just think, he said that before he moved in with me and discovered that I wanted to string cranberries and popcorn and make gold paper chains for the Christmas tree.

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The snake is mightier than the spoon ! --Josh
 

 

sprice: I believe that I have a photograph of this incident. And yes, I have the negatives, securely locked up in my room.

jlewis: As I recall, I was wearing the cat mask, and Greg had covered himself in tin foil.
Shudder.

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I die, like Edward II! --Alastair
 

 
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Oh, please, don't die like Edward II! --Alecia
 

 
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I'm still working on the virgin problem. --Alecia
 

 
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I don't know. "Bondlywog" sounds like the past tense of "Bondlywag", but we could explain it to people. --Chaos
 

 
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It's more than copping a feel. You could probably steal underwear on your way by. --Samira
 

 
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To which was responded: Damn, I've *got* to do more folkdance! --Rat
 

 
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There's stickiness on the floor here. --Chris Fanjul
 

 
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Taste it. If it's cherry, it's Scott. --Chris C.
 

 

lizzy: One word: ????????????????????

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When I want to come on to people, I just put on the cat mask and parade around campus --Annie
 

 
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I need to work on being more intimidating. You can't be intimidating if you're not flat-chested. There's something intrinsically un-intimidating about breasts. --Heather.
 

 
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I'm sorry. I have *not* found redemption in Craig Williamson's nuts. --Chip
 

 
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Well, Liz drinks with the devil. It makes sense that Heather would play bridge with God. You can hardly drink with God. --Josh ...More to the point, you can't drink with Heather. --Samira (proved untrue by strict empirical testing 12/5/98)
 

 

jlewis: REPEAT! (although this is the better one since it has the "proved untrue" bit)

heather: Sigh. And you should see me now. It was the first step down a slippery slope....

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Happiness doesn't grow on trees. It comes in the form of a small shrub. --Fanjul (hopefully referring to Mate)
 

 
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You're supposed to be nuzzling your crotch against the object of affection. --Chris, pooch-boy
 

 
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Don't *make* me use this symbolically! --Scott, holding up a suggestive ice cream
 

 
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Chris, don't make out with the dog. --Chuck
 

 
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God dammit! Couple already, why dontcha! --Rat
 

 

mwirth: Did I really say this? Can anybody perhaps remember the context?

samira: You were frusterated with a llab roject that had to do wiith copulation/reproduction.. I can't remember which, nor do I have any sense of whether you were talking about rats, mice, or E.coli in a petri dish. But whatever it was, it/they were not getting as busy as you would have liked them to.

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...Self-adhesive chickens... --Pseudo-dionysus, the areopagite
 

 
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I learned to play the flute with salmon down my pants. --Josh
 

 
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The hand of God is not a sock puppet. --Josh
 

 
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... then maybe a woman as a digestif. --Josh
 

 
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It’s tough to hear in my room too... I have to stand in my closet and be quiet. --Scott
 

 
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It *does* look like the eagle is shitting your sanity... --Jess H.
 

 
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...Kaski... You're not going to be chewing on willy. --Cutler
 

 
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I found a virgin --Alecia ...How big is it? --Chuck ...Fifteen inches. --Alecia
 

 
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Greetings, good apothecary, would you give me thpthpthpthpthp of mummy-juice, and then I shall bleed my self with a spoon. --Alastair (who else?)
 

 
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And that, nerd-boy, is why Spike calls us "Josh's weird friends." --Samira, to Chip
 

 
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There's something sacriligeous about thrusting in McCabe. --Heather
 

 
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Megan: What were medieval condoms? ...Heather (looking over from another conversation): They used half a lemon. (And the scary thing is, she's right)
 

 
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Catherine: I know even less about passion than I do about assassins.
 

 
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Fuck Nebraska. They're Nebraska! Fuck them! --Chuck, logician
 

 
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Alright, I'm afraid... but it's an irrational fear. --Dana Sculley ...So's your mom. --Fox Mulder
 

 
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You know why dogs lick themselves? Because they can. --Chuck
 

 
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You mean you *can't*? --Cathy
 

 
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I don't know about virgins, but I *can* get you crucifixes. --Alecia
 

 
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Is there a material world or not, on the next Geraldo. --Chip
 

 
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I'm having a hard time conceiving of Liquid Rabbit --Xanthi
 

 
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I don't want to see your tickle-stick moves. --Chris Fanjul
 

 
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Bite me, Nerd-boy. The what-the-fuck flag has gone to plaid. So, dude, pass the J-D. Fuck. --Alastair, in summation
 

 
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Oh, look, it's a Jew-- let's inquisit it! --Kyla, on the Venetian Inquisition
 

 
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See, when I get aggressive, I do Latin. --Alastair ... (Vidisne; cum violesco, linguam latinam studio...)
 

 
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I think it's better if it's "Craig Williamson's Redemptive Left Nut" --Chip
 

 
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What time is it? --Scott, meekly ...TIME FOR ALL DOGS TO DIE, DON'T YOU FEEL SICK?! --Cathy, earning a great big WTF
 

 
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I was actually fairly impressed with my mouth on that one. --Scott
 

 
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If women tasted like Marmite, I'd be interested... in the limited sense. --Alastair
 

 
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Samira (to Alastair): Your new-found inches are useful.
 

 
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Damn, I'm a woman! --Terry Harvey
 

 
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Just what I want. A dysfunctional gay husband. Geez! --Samira
 

 
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I'd rather be alone in Hell than with you in Heaven. --Chuck, to Chris (F)
 

 
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If they start construction in the morning, I'm going to jump out of bed, grab my mighty sword Virginia, fly down and cut the dump truck in two. While showing cleavage. --Kira
 

 

cutler: This is probably my favorite one of the whole lot. Mostly because I don't think I heard Kira (spelled with an i, right?) say two words all semester.

chaos: it is, in fact, kira with an 'i'. kyra with a 'y' is someone entirely different, so accuracy is important for archival purposes.

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We wear harnesses around our middles to prop up our mammary glands. How dumb is that? --Kyla
 

 
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chaos: perhaps this would work better if quotes which form a conversation were gathered into one paragraph?

alecia: completely unrelated to these quotes, but... does anyone know what happened to the post-its of postmodern, fragmentary, falcon-and-falconer quoteboard fame? and chaos, i like the consolidation-into-conversation idea. :)

jlewis: On that not, these quote boards will probably rear their ugly fucking heads again if-and-when we start playing around with the idea of multiple authors on a single piece. It would be nice if people could revise the quotes themselves. As it is, the answer to all the questions here is "Ask Scott." :)

sprice: Points of order: I tried to tell chaos that skein couldn't do a line-break tag, and it did that one. (blush) Secondly, skein properly decremented the comment tally. Go skein!

sprice: Alecia: I *wish* I had them. There's a small chance that they survived the move, but I believe that I threw them out, thinking that we'd transcribed them. And we hadn't, at least not onto my computer. Josh: Hear, hear. I've revised it as noted, and taken out the notes.

alecia: hrm. just looked for them on my computer... i, too, could swear that they're transcribed _somewhere_. maybe in a journal or something? i'll look, at any rate. did we get to that morning we had to move out of ML by 9am and just drop the idea of saving things? sigh.

sprice: Mm, the post-its made it all the way to Philadelphia, but I'm fairly sure that they got thrown out in the move from Philadelphia. Laura, can you substantiate that?

samira: Hmm. Chaos might also know.

chaos: nope. i think i was doing dishes during that stage of the proceedings. :>)

laura: They definitely made it to Philly, and one night Fanjul was there (and there weren't too many of those nights), I believe, Scott transcribed them into Nailbunny. I have a pretty clear memory of this, and I think Wayne was there, too. Could they have been lost in some Nailbunny screwiness?

samira: Scott, when you gave me NAilbunny, did you back up everything that you had on it? Might there be remants of your life (like the quotes) on the hard drive?

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