The Force

[ First e-mail by C. Fanjul, rebuttal by J. Lewis ]

Which of our friends is a Jedi Knight?

place your bets... remember, federation credits are no good here. but motorcycles and electric pianos will do nicely...

-fanjul-wan kenobi

Chris

Chris has excellent point control. years of erol flynn movies and some high school training have enabled chris to wield a mean sword.

Chris lives in a natural setting, much like the swamps of degoba, only with prettier flowers.

Chris now drives like Greg. plus, his car is fixed, altho he suspects foul play.

Chris may bring balance to the force by drinking both red and white wines.

Wayne is Chris's father.

Greg

Greg looks good in a natural cotton cloak, and owns two swords. his Force is centered in his face, which can be formed to frighten a foe, or removed to show his true detachment from the world.

Greg lives in the philly suburbs, much like the capital of coriscant, with big scary statues.

Greg could probably beat Chris in a pod race, but only because his vehicle is in better shape.

Greg may bring balance to the force by wearing black leather and white dress shirts

Mr. H. is Greg's father.

Wayne "Whiskey" M.

Wayne owns no swords at all; however, he owns many water guns, and also wields two mean guitars, better weapons for a more civilized time.

Wayne lives in the mountainous forests of western Pennsylvania, which strongly resembles the moon of Endor. He has had much training among the Ewoks.

Wayne rides a motorcycle, which would probably not win a pod race, but could probably outrun a landspeeder on level ground.

Wayne may bring balance to the force by playing both acoustic and electric guitars.

Yoda is Wayne's father.

Joshua "Tree" Lewis

Josh owns a trench coat, and though he doesn't own any swords, he is rooming with Chuck next year, who will build him some. In the meantime, he wields Chris Cutler.

Josh lives in Delaware. If there is a bright center to the universe, Delaware is the point farthest from. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Josh has no transportation of his own, but he will be sure to ride shotgun in whichever vehicle is mst likely to win a pod race. In the event that Wayne's motorcylce is likely to win, he will install a sidecar.

Josh may bring balance to the force by studying two academic fields which have zero overlap.

Samuel L. Jackson is Josh's father.

Chuck "Chewie" Groom

Chuck owns Skywalker pants, and wields a chainsaw, which is a more effective weapon for a significantly less civilized time. He also controls the Quaker Inner Light, which partly controls your thoughts, but also obeys your commands.

Chuck lives in California, which resembles every single planet in the Star Wars galaxy.

Chuck has no transportation, but is apparently able to disappear and reappear at will anywhere he likes.

Chuck may bring balance to the force by uniting yerba mate and cappucino into one beverage.

Chuck is the father of all of us.