[ From a journal entry I wrote when I was 12]
Last night, I pretended to go to bed, and as soon as mom was asleep I slipped outside. It is stupid for a 12-year-old girl to be outside in the city in the middle of the night. I don't know why, but I had to escape our hive of cubes at least for a while. I walked down the dim corridor, down the elevator, out of our immense housing block, and walked down the city street. It was surreal to turn around on the street, and see identical, massive cubes of concrete and steel on all sides. I followed a random path, going nowhere, just walking. The night air smelled of stale humanity and industry. Everywhere I went, the same giant blocks of steel and concrete hemmed me in. I was outside in the natural world, breathing the air of planet Earth, but I was trapped in a maze of parallel and perpendicular perfect crisp lines. I started to run, trying to run away from the identical blocks, but when I stopped I found myself at an intersection of streets that looked like any other intersection in this drab city.
I caught my breath, and sat down on the curb. I calmed down, and felt the cool night against my hot cheeks. I relished the painful woosh of breath in and out of my lungs, the way my heart beat so loudly in my chest, because I felt connected with the world again.
I glanced down at the curb, and noticed that a hairline crack ran through part of the concrete. I leaned over to stare at the crack. It was a small crack, but I loved it because its random twists and unevenness stood in stark defiance of the straight lines of the city. It was a sign that the city would not last forever, that some day it would collapse and be just so much rubble. It was a sign of reality, and I loved that little crack.
I glanced at the time. SHIT! I had to be home soon, before mom woke up.
I walked down the block to a public terminal, called up a map of the city, and figured out the route I had to follow home. I walked home carefully, this time keeping an eye out for the other people who might be out in the city, people who might be dangerous or who would call the police to report a small girl out alone in the middle of the night.
I made it home safe, and slipped into bed. I felt exhilarated, happy, and alive. I had taken a real trip, a real walk, and had discovered a small symbol of nature that gave me tremendous hope that this nightmare world would end.