...and a few words I collect and wish I had written.

Perfecting Sloth: Spring Break in North Carolina.

Yar: My short experience as an award-winning pirate on the Crum Creek.

The Sierras: A pack of lies about a 3-day summer trip to the High Sierras. Learn about the Swiss, Steep Narrow Road, the scientific measurement of body odor, and how to almost climb a mountain.

The War of the Blenders: An account of how armageddon was narrowly averted. It features gazpacho, aliens, press releases from New Jersey, film shorts, and a technical how-to guide for building your own BauerBlender.

Desert Thinking: An essay on why I see the environmental crisis as an essentially religious and (please forgive me) post-modern dilemna.

Who Wields the Force: Who is a Jedi -- Chris, Greg, Wayne, Josh, or perhaps even your interpid narrator...?

Is True Love Worth Hell?: A look at true love in the Divine Comedy

Motion: An account of our breakneck drive across the country last summer.

Uncertain Absolute Belief: A description of the impossible task of pinning down what it is that I believe.

On Going Home: Leaving Paraguay in 1995.

Hugh's Trouser Troubles: A funny story about Hugh's college years in the UK.

Let it Grow: Tranquilo Pa explained to a small child.

This is Not a Safe Place: A hypertext science fiction story.

I am a Gloomy Creature: Greg H.'s parody of a college entrance essay.

Grace: An image of perfect grace.

Jocks, Monks, and Christian Slater: Wayne describes why he is a misanthrope, especially towards women.

I like Monkeys: A literary critque by Wayne M.. Romanian gymnists, ejaculation, and a hundred dead monkeys.

College Beautification Plan: A set of humble suggestions to make Swarthmore a better place to live.

Swatlandia: A novel academic exercise.

Rant: A rant against Swarthmore. Read with a grain of salt.